Have you ever found yourself afraid to try something new, to step out in front of a crowd, or to risk going into the unknown? I am sure that you remember the anxiety that developed and the steps you took to avoid feeling scared?

Well, I recently was scared, and it didn’t make any rational sense whatsoever.

A few nights ago, my son and his wife stayed over in our home. It is always such a pleasure to have them visit. This time, in addition to coming over, he brought his new “toy”, an Oculus Virtual Reality Headset.

This VR Headset is advertised with these words, “Stop watching games and step into them. Whether you’re dodging obstacles or slashing through enemy hordes, you’ve never been this close to the action.”

Boy, were they right.

As someone who prides himself on being in control and providing Anxiety Coaching to others so that they can learn not to allow fear to make their choices, I decided that I would go for it. “Give me a scary one” I said – and my son obliged.

On went the headset.

Immediately, I was transported to a world where I could look all around me at amazing sights and sounds. This is fun I thought, all the while remembering I was in our living room and really not in a cartoon-like city of trees and birds chirping away.

It was fun until…

He told me to press a button on my hand grip. I did, because I remembered that no matter what I saw, I KNEW it was not real and, thus, could not shake or hurt me.

I switched the scene and found myself inside of a very real looking elevator. No problem, I’ve got this I thought.

And then, the elevator doors opened.

I began to step out … onto a long wooden plank … dozens of stories above the ground.

And the birds were still chirping.

Only now, I was high up in the sky with them as they flew all around me.

“This isn’t real,” I repeatedly reminded myself.

Yet, as is so often the case when we start to question our self and feel stressed, that very tiny part of my brain, called the Amygdala, took over and automatically activated my fight-or-flight response.

It sent out signals to my body to release stress hormones that prepared my body to fight or run back into the elevator – exactly as it is supposed to do anytime we sense danger. Its only job is to shut down the rest of the brain and kick into ‘fight or flight’ readiness.

All that mattered as I walked out on the plank was for me to rely on that tiny part of my brain to help me survive my situation and not die.

As my son encouraged me to walk further and further out on to the plank, I found myself frozen in fear – knowing it wasn’t real or actually dangerous. Yet, I could not override the Amygdala taking over like a friend saying, “I’ve got your back. I’ll make sure you don’t die. Whatever you do, DO NOT keep walking out onto the plank!”

Fear won.

Anxiety beat me as I told my son I had enough and wanted to get back into the elevator. As everyone around me was laughing (as I’m sure I must have looked incredibly goofy begging for safety in the middle of our nice living room) my brain battled between knowing it wasn’t really dangerous while simultaneously looking for a way out.

This is exactly what happens when we have to speak in front of a crowd, or audition or be interviewed. The Amygdala takes over and all that we care about is survival.

I slowly walked back into the elevator and waited for my ride to safety (missing the end of the adventure that had awaited me at the end of the wooden plank). My mind could not believe that my brain had tricked me.

If you have ever allowed the Amygdala to “trick” you and have, as a result, possibly missed out on an adventure or two, then I encourage you to read my next Post, in which I will share some powerful skills to quiet that part of the brain and let reality take charge again, using skills that, as I saw the birds flying around me in the clouds on the plank, I had completely forgotten to employ.