As a performance and anxiety coach, I have found that the majority of my clients, when we begin working together, mentally live in 1 of 2 places.

The most common place is in the future, in the land of ‘What If ?’ – a place where they say things such as,

”What if my business presentation goes bad”

“What if I ask her on a date and she says “No”?

“What if no one wants to purchase my art”

“What if my audition (or interview) doesn’t go well and I’m rejected.

There is, however, another land that I find my clients living in, and that is in the past, the land of ‘If only…’

“If only I had started my business earlier”

“If only I had more self-confidence”

“If only my family wasn’t so dysfunctional”

“If only I wasn’t rejected.”

“If only … If only”

The land of ‘What if’ is based in Anxious Anticipation while the land of ‘If only’ is based in Regret.

Unfortunately, Anticipation and Regret keep us stuck in fear, sadness and victimhood while draining the precious energy necessary to experiencing an amazing life.