Category Archives: Creativity

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What Are You Waiting For?

If you start me up … I’ll never stop, never stop.”

~ The Rolling Stones

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There are so many things I desire to accomplish yet, somehow, they don’t get done.

I wait for inspiration. I wait for more time or the ‘perfect’ time. I wait for a voice to give me the ok to go for it. Yet, I wait and wait and wait.

I don’t start.

I think too much. I wait to feel ready. I look around for the starting flag to drop. Yet, if I don’t start, I cannot finish. And, if I don’t finish, I will beat myself up and say, “I knew I couldn’t do that. I was right. Who do I think I am?”

By not starting, I reinforce lies. I conclude that the negative, judgmental story I have made up about myself is true.

Yet, if I just start, I can begin to quiet that internal, critical voice that lies to me, that truly believes that it is keeping me safe, keeping me from failure. I can quiet that voice just by starting. Only then do I have the opportunity to succeed … to change my story.

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Break Out of the Prison of Perfectionism

Do you strive for flawlessness in your art while setting excessively high standards for yourself?

Do you desire for your writing, art, business idea or performance to be perfect before you put it out to the world?

Do your critical self-evaluations and fears about what others will think stop you dead in your creative tracks and stuck in a no man’s land between your creative potential and discouragement?

It’s time to break out of prison.

Prison

Suzanne was desperate as she called my office. It had been many years since she had entered her prison of perfectionism and was desperate to see if I could help her break out.

An amazing French Horn player, Suzanne knew how to play all the correct notes and, although technically on the mark, was continually held back by her desire to perform perfectly while avoiding making a mistake.

In tears, she shared that she had tried almost everything in an attempt to break free, but nothing seemed to work.

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7 Steps to Self-Esteem & Confidence

Most of us carry pictures of those who matter to us in our wallet, purse or on our cellphone. I carry pictures of my wife and kids on my phone and iPad to look at and remind myself of how important they are to me.

As meaningful as these pictures are to us, we all carry another picture, one far more powerful than those in our wallet, etc. It is the mental picture that we carry that represents the opinion that we have of ourself.

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This picture is our self-image, a perception that has, from early on in life, influenced us in terms of our self-confidence, and in what we accomplish in our life, relationships and business.

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Words That KILL

Here are 10 words that we tell ourselves that ‘kill’ our dreams, aspirations and potential. Each day, as you say any of these words to yourself, you get closer and closer to killing off who you are and might become.

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Feelings Are SO Overrated (Part 2)

In my last Post I shared how we often put an enormous emphasis on our feelings, rather than focusing on whether our thoughts are self-defeating or moving us forward. Again, I am not saying that we should disregard our feelings (a la Mr. Spock in Star Trek whose main focus is summed up in the words “Seems logical to me, Captain”).

canstockphoto sad face

The key principle here is that if we do not take charge of what we tell ourselves, then our feelings will simply follow those thoughts, whether true or not.

“Whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you’re right.” ~ Henry Ford

It might be a thought that begins innocently enough yet, when not challenged with the truth, takes you down a rabbit hole of self-doubt, discouragement and fear. I remember such as moment in high school.

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Feelings Are SO Overrated (Part 1)

In my work with hundreds of clients over 30 years of coaching and consulting I have discovered a startling fact – feelings are overrated! Now, I am not saying that feelings are not important, or desirable or real – I am saying that they are simply overrated in terms of the focus that we give to them.
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My clients, for the most part, begin their coaching journey by describing what they ‘feel’ – “I am afraid, I am depressed, I want to feel more happy, I feel like a failure, I feel like nobody will ever desire me, I feel rejected, I would do anything to not feel this way.”

I listen and honor their sincerity and desire to experience something different in their lives.

Yet as I listen, I shift my focus to what they are thinking and are telling themselves about their situation and what they believe to be true about their life or the things that they fear the most.

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Stop Setting Goals (and Start Achieving Them!)

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“In the absence of clearly defined priorities,
we become strangely loyal to performing daily acts of trivia.”
~Unknown

I don’t know about you, but I get so tired of hearing about setting goals. There are so many different systems available and reminders of why we should do it – yet the end result is often feelings of guilt and discouragement, with only a small percentage of our goals being achieved.

Although most of us are aware of the importance of setting goals to achieve success, very few actually apply action steps in a way that propels them to achievement. This is true whether it is a short-term goal or a long-term dream that is desired.