Category Archives: Personal Development

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Feelings Are SO Overrated (Part 1)

In my work with hundreds of clients over 30 years of coaching and consulting I have discovered a startling fact – feelings are overrated! Now, I am not saying that feelings are not important, or desirable or real – I am saying that they are simply overrated in terms of the focus that we give to them.
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My clients, for the most part, begin their coaching journey by describing what they ‘feel’ – “I am afraid, I am depressed, I want to feel more happy, I feel like a failure, I feel like nobody will ever desire me, I feel rejected, I would do anything to not feel this way.”

I listen and honor their sincerity and desire to experience something different in their lives.

Yet as I listen, I shift my focus to what they are thinking and are telling themselves about their situation and what they believe to be true about their life or the things that they fear the most.

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Is it Time to Change Your Story?

Knowing what you want goes hand in hand with knowing who you are. In fact, it is impossible to become an outrageous achiever in any area unless you possess an effective and powerful answer to both questions.

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In a recent blog post I discussed the importance of discovering what you really desire in your life and then committing to a specific plan of action to get you there.

What could possibly stand in your way?

Well, look in the mirror and you will see your biggest enemy staring right back at you, telling you their story about why life is so tough, or how they have always failed, or how they are just not enough to become more successful.

The story you hear implies that maybe you don’t have what it takes to achieve your dreams.

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Stop Setting Goals (and Start Achieving Them!)

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“In the absence of clearly defined priorities,
we become strangely loyal to performing daily acts of trivia.”
~Unknown

I don’t know about you, but I get so tired of hearing about setting goals. There are so many different systems available and reminders of why we should do it – yet the end result is often feelings of guilt and discouragement, with only a small percentage of our goals being achieved.

Although most of us are aware of the importance of setting goals to achieve success, very few actually apply action steps in a way that propels them to achievement. This is true whether it is a short-term goal or a long-term dream that is desired.

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4 Commandments for Becoming a Great Listener

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You would think that as a Psychologist I must be an amazing listener, especially at home. Well, please don’t ask my wife or family … The truth is, listening doesn’t come very naturally to me – I love to be the one talking!

In fact, most people would describe listening as a ‘passive’ process of sitting back and letting the other person talk until you finally have a chance to say something!

Nothing could be further from the truth.

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Live Loud and Prosper

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If you ask me what I came to do in this world, I will tell you, I came to live out LOUD.” ~ Émile Zola

My daughter recently brought home her University yearbook and on the cover, embossed in wild, bright colors, were the words, ‘Live Loud.’

I loved it! She was being encouraged to not just have a life, but to live it LOUD – emphatically, boldly, not concealed or quiet but overtly and with undeniable purpose and passion.

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The 6 Essential Attitudes for Achieving Your Dreams

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Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.”~ John Homer Miller

 

In my work with individuals over the past 31 years it has become apparent that those who achieve their dreams and goals maintain a certain mindset or frame of reference in their approach to their business and life. Your attitudes and expectations are, in fact, critical to the foundation and success of what you want to achieve.

Let’s take a look at 6 essential attitudes for achieving what you want in life.

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When Your World Stops Turning

Love Makes the WorldPhoto Credit – Susie Sprinkel Hudson

Closing night. Full house. Final performance of an outstanding original musical, “Love Makes the World Go ‘Round,” written and directed by Vanda Eggington and presented by The American Coast Theater Company. I am seated with my wife Ramona in the second row, center, as we proudly watch our son Nicholas perform as part of a wonderful cast.

A revolving stage, painted as a map of the world, placed the actors at just the appropriate place for them to sing and dance each number. The stage turned every time, perfectly, during each performance for several weeks – until it abruptly stopped during the final act on the final night, leaving each actor out of position and facing every which way but the right one.