… Please others because you are afraid of offending them?
… Have trouble saying ‘No’?
… Allow others to manipulate you into situations that you don’t want?
… Always put others first?
… Have trouble standing up for yourself?
… Avoid social situations because you get too anxious?
… Feel taken advantage of?
If you answered ‘Yes’ to any of the above questions, then this post is for you!
It is so easy to allow opportunities in life to pass us by, as we often react in
fear rather than choose our response to particular situations that we
find ourselves in.
Recently my daughter celebrated her 21st birthday, and I thought back to an
incident I had with her that was published many years ago in the book A Cup of Chicken Soup for the Soul. In sharing this story with you, I am reminded again to always look for opportunities that are given to us.
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I had offered to watch my 3-year-old daughter, Ramanda, so that my wife could go out with a friend. I was getting some work done while Ramanda appeared to be having a good time in the other room. No problem, I figured. But then it got a little too quiet and I yelled out, “What are you doing, Ramanda?” No response.
I would like to give you a gift. Yes, I have something in my possession that, if you accept it, will change your life in ways that you never dreamed possible. My gift is free. I ask nothing in return. You can accept it and share it with others if you choose. In fact, I believe that there are others around you who would be eternally grateful to you for giving them such an amazing and priceless gift.
All that I ask of you, should you decide to accept my gift, is that you take some time to think about the implications of such a gift. Do not accept it if you do not feel ready to let it take you to new and exciting places. My gift has the potential to create both amazing possibilities as well as sheer terror at the same time! Happiness and fear … amazement and caution … belief and disbelief.
Where do you live?
I’m not asking the address of your home, I’m asking “Where do you LIVE?” Where does your mind reside? Where do you live in your thinking?
Most people I coach live in 1 of 2 places. The most common place is in the future, in the land of ‘What If ?’ This is the place where we say things such as, ”What if my presentation at work goes bad” or “What if I ask her on a date and she says “No”? or “What if I never make it as a Writer (or Musician, or ….)?”
“What if? …What if?…”
Yet another place that many live is in the past, in the land of ‘If Only’. “If only I had started my business earlier … If only I had more self-confidence … If only my family wasn’t so dysfunctional … If only I wasn’t rejected.”
Tension blocks your power to perform. Much of this tension accumulates in your shoulders, neck and upper body. The following simple exercises are designed to be able to help you release tension quickly and efficiently.
What do you want in your life? I mean, what do you REALLY want? Not what you wouldn’t mind having. Not what would be nice to have a bit more of. I am asking what do you really, really desire? In order to truly create an outrageous life, it is critical to answer this question without fear or doubt.
So, if you do not mind, let me ask you again. If you were fearless and deaf to your critical inner voice that is trying desperately to keep you safe, what would you really want – in your business, in your creative life, in your relationships, or in your performance? What matters to you?
~ Do you avoid an outrageous life because of what others might think of you?
~ Do you always seem to be getting ready to start? “Tomorrow… Someday.”
If you answered “Yes” to any of these questions, you are not alone. Most of my coaching clients report being afraid to go for their dreams out of fear that they would look foolish, make a mistake or be rejected. In fact, I used to struggle with very similar feelings and fears.