“Many people die with their music still in them. Why is this so? Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it, time runs out.” ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

• Do you dream of presenting or performing without fear but get stuck in “What if” thinking?
• Do you hold back from taking bold steps because of what others might think?
• Do you find yourself always preparing but never fully stepping out?

If you answered “Yes” to any of these questions, you’re not alone. So many speakers and performers—public speakers, actors, dancers, singers, comedians—struggle with the fear of looking foolish, making mistakes, or being judged. I’ve been there myself.

Let me tell you a story.

The Night I Learned to Dance

It was during my Doctoral Internship at a hospital in Georgia when a group of nurses and interns invited me out for the evening. After a long, draining day, I thought, Why not? A little dinner and laughter sounded like just what I needed.

But when we pulled up to one of the hottest dance clubs in the city, panic set in. You see, I had never danced before. Sure, I’d done a little Greek dancing at family weddings, but a packed nightclub with pulsating disco music? No way.

My overthinking had always “protected” me from looking ridiculous on a dance floor.

There was no escape. No car to leave in. No way out.

As we begin the journey into the New Year, it is an ideal time to re-focus your attention on taking charge of becoming a more effective and productive speaker. Here are 10 tips to make this your best year yet.

1. Know Your Audience Deeply

Understand your audience’s needs, preferences, and concerns. Use surveys, feedback, or research to tailor your message to resonate with them.

2. Master Storytelling

People connect with stories more than information and data. Create compelling narratives that highlight key points and evoke emotion to leave a lasting impact.

3. Focus on Authenticity

Audiences crave authenticity. Share personal anecdotes, speak from the heart, and let your unique personality shine through.

These days, video content is everywhere – virtual meetings, online presentations, vlogs, social media stories – you name it. But let’s be honest: being in front of the camera can feel super intimidating.

You might feel awkward, overly critical of how you look or sound, or just unsure of what to do. The good news? You’re not stuck with this anxiety. With a few mindset shifts and some practice, you can go from dreading the camera to feeling comfortable (and maybe even enjoying it).

Here’s how to start overcoming your camera anxiety:

1. Understand Where the Fear Comes From

First, ask yourself: What’s making you nervous? Are you worried about looking or sounding awkward? Do you think people will judge you? Are you afraid of making mistakes? Pinpointing the root of your anxiety can make it easier to address. For example, If you’re worried about judgment, remind yourself that most people are too busy thinking about themselves to critique you.

2. It’s All About Mindset

Instead of seeing the camera as a source of stress, think of it as a way to connect with others. Whether you’re sharing a message, capturing a memory, or simply showing up for a meeting, the camera is your tool for communication. Shift your focus from “How do I look?” to “What do I want to share?”

Have you ever felt like you’re not good enough, even when all the evidence says otherwise? Like you’re just waiting for someone to figure out you’re a fraud?

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. What you’re feeling might be imposter syndrome – a sneaky mindset that can hold you back from fully embracing your success.

In my coaching work, I’ve found imposter syndrome to be one of the biggest barriers to reaching your full potential, whether it’s at work, in a creative endeavor, or in life overall. So, I want to talk about what imposter syndrome really is, how it can impact you, and most importantly, how to break free from it to unlock your best self.

What is imposter syndrome, really?

Think about this: You give a well-received presentation, crush a big project, or create something you’re truly proud of. But instead of celebrating, you catch yourself wondering, “Did I really deserve this?” You might chalk it up to luck or assume people are overestimating you.

That’s imposter syndrome – feeling like you’re faking it and fearing you’ll be found out, even when you’ve clearly earned your achievements.

The Holiday Season is a time for joy! Yet, this can be a most difficult time of the year for many. Stress, pressure, loneliness, expectations, depression, hurts and financial burdens rob many of the joy of the season.

With Christmas seeming to come earlier each year (ornaments on sale in July!) and the mad rush of traffic and the scramble to buy the ‘perfect’ gifts, the “Happy Holidays” often turn out to be anything other than joyful or happy!

It has been said that “we are in danger of losing Christmas.” This is even true for those who are faith-based who, in the rush of things, lose that “glad feeling of happiness and delight” that should be at the center of the holidays.

The challenge is that in order to handle the unique pressure and stresses that accompany this time of year, we need to maintain a ‘balanced life.”

Problems that occur in our desire to experience joy are when our “whole being” is out of balance.

Let’s take a quick look at some very practical steps that we can take towards putting the joy back into Christmas:

1) Prepare Your Physical Self for the Holidays

~ Eat wisely – importance of healthful, nourishing foods (although a very hard time to diet!)

~ Rest appropriately – set boundaries on shopping, visiting and decorating – give your body time to refresh itself!

~ Exercise – “not something you spend time doing, but rather something you invest time in”

~ Strive for ‘Stress-Free’ living – Give yourself permission to slow down and enjoy yourself; practice positive self-talk; avoid comparing yourself to others; see yourself as a valuable child of God; give yourself permission to take risks

2. Evaluate Your Soul (Your emotional/relational self)

The holiday season is upon us, yet, for so many, that means becoming stressed and even anxious when in social situations. Instead of it being a time of joy, just being around others can lead to anxious moments and even avoidance of events and opportunities. The desire to feel accepted while staying present in the moment can conflict with the fear of doing and saying just the right thing.

The following strategies have helped me over the years to manage and overcome holiday stress and social anxiety. Whether it’s participating in holiday activities, being around crowds in the mall or while at a stressful family gathering, these ten tips can help you can navigate social situations more comfortably and with less anxiety.

1. Set Realistic Goals: Instead of aiming for perfection, set achievable goals for social interactions. Celebrate small victories, like initiating a conversation or speaking up in a group, to boost confidence gradually.

2. Practice Positive Self-Talk: Challenge negative thoughts. Quiet your inner, critical self-talk. Replace anxious thoughts with more rational and positive ones. Remind yourself of past successes and focus on your strengths.

3. Breathe and Relax: Practice deep breathing or mindfulness exercises to calm your mind. These techniques can help regulate your body’s response to anxiety, making it easier to cope in social settings.

If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary. ~ Jim Rohn

Throughout my 40 years of working with entrepreneurs, artists, musicians, writers, executives and performance artists, I have never had anyone tell me,

“Please help me to become a mediocre performer.”

“I’ve noticed that I am becoming WAY too creative in my art, I need to slow it down a bit.”

“Can you teach me some ways to stay anxious as a writer?”

“You know Dr. Nick, my business is going too well. Can you help me become a little less effective with the clients that I work with?”

Not once has anyone asked to be helped to stay on the path to mediocrity. Yet, so often our creative lives are defined in terms of safety, lack of risk-taking and just “getting through” comfortably.

An outrageous and creative life doesn’t settle. It doesn’t put up with things being just ‘okay’.

“Change and growth takes place when a person has
risked themselves and dares to experiment with their own life.”
~ Philosopher Herbert Otto

Outrageous living is not comfortable. It is not ‘safe’. It does not look around to see if others are approving or if they are pleased by our behavior. An outrageously creative life is extraordinary, unconventional and bold.

At times, our ideas for our work will seem unthinkable and will exceed the limits of what others see as usual and ‘normal’ behavior. Outrageous means we are exceeding the bounds of what may seem reasonable or expected by those living a life of safety or of pleasing others.

Outrageous creativity is BOLD – we are not afraid to stand out. We are fearless, self-assured and confident.

“If things seem under control, you are just not going fast enough.” ~ Mario Andretti

Outrageous creativity contains a daring spirit, is adventurous and ultimately is free. A person committed to outrageous living makes bold choices, thinks big, refuses to be confined out of fear and is free of judgment and a myriad of ‘the shoulds’.

Helen Keller described just this kind of outrageous living when she said,

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeated.”

Are you beginning to see the picture of what outrageous creativity looks like? I believe that, in fact, it is the picture of what you looked like as a creative child before you began to be afraid, before you gave up a life of outrageous risk-taking in order to please those around you and gain their approval. It has been said that,

“People do not know how to be outrageous anymore.”

While vacationing at the beach several years ago, I noticed a little girl, no more than 3 years old, standing near the water line on the beach. She stood there watching the water come in and then, as it headed back out, she would let out a bloodcurdling scream and run towards the retreating water. As soon as her feet hit the cold water as it came back towards her, she would let out another scream and run back towards the sand. Yet, accompanying her scream was a HUGE smile on her face! She was bold and going for it – even while it was scaring her to death! Up and down, over and over she would run to the water, scream and run away laughing hysterically every single time!

No one had yet taught her to play it safe, to not take a chance, to sit and watch the other kids have fun. She was determined to live outrageously – bold and willing to risk it all.

When was it that you stopped running towards the creative thing that scared you? When did you give up going for what seemed impossible? Where did your boldness go?

Outrageous creativity includes bloodcurdling screams while going for your dreams with a huge smile on your face.

If performance anxiety, a fear of public speaking or creative blocks have held you back from achieving the things that matter to you, then check out my community, the Fearless for Life Academy, by clicking here.