Category Archives: Performing

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Virtual Reality, the Amygdala and Anxiety (Part 2)

I did it.

I walked off the plank and floated down, down, down until a sea of bright white light enveloped me.

As I shared in my last Post (Part 1), I had let my anxiety and fear of “falling” into the abyss keep me from completing my son’s Virtual Reality game. Mentally ‘knowing’ that it was just a game and that I wasn’t actually walking off a real plank to my death wasn’t enough for me to override and manage my anxiety.

I had quit as a result of the physical feeling of terror and of thinking “What if…?”

I know that many of you reading this have found yourself in a similar situation (maybe not walking off a plank 20 stories high!) but, rather, a situation in which you believed that to continue would be dangerous, almost as if you were stepping off into the unknown.

Your ‘plank’ might have been a presentation that you must give, or an audition or interview that matters to you or simply a step forward in your life that feels scary and which you talk yourself out of.

This week, however, I re-visited my fear and played the game again.

I put on the VR headset, felt myself moving higher and higher on the virtual elevator until the doors opened wide and I was staring at the wooden plank high above the ground.

And yes, the birds were still flying around me as before!

Only this time, instead of letting fear make my choice, I implemented the following 3 steps in order to face my fear and move myself forward:

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Virtual Reality, the Amygdala and Anxiety (Part 1)

Have you ever found yourself afraid to try something new, to step out in front of a crowd, or to risk going into the unknown? I am sure that you remember the anxiety that developed and the steps you took to avoid feeling scared?

Well, I recently was scared, and it didn’t make any rational sense whatsoever.

A few nights ago, my son and his wife stayed over in our home. It is always such a pleasure to have them visit. This time, in addition to coming over, he brought his new “toy”, an Oculus Virtual Reality Headset.

This VR Headset is advertised with these words, “Stop watching games and step into them. Whether you’re dodging obstacles or slashing through enemy hordes, you’ve never been this close to the action.”

Boy, were they right.

As someone who prides himself on being in control and providing Anxiety Coaching to others so that they can learn not to allow fear to make their choices, I decided that I would go for it. “Give me a scary one” I said – and my son obliged.

On went the headset.

Immediately, I was transported to a world where I could look all around me at amazing sights and sounds. This is fun I thought, all the while remembering I was in our living room and really not in a cartoon-like city of trees and birds chirping away.

It was fun until…

He told me to press a button on my hand grip. I did, because I remembered that no matter what I saw, I KNEW it was not real and, thus, could not shake or hurt me.

I switched the scene and found myself inside of a very real looking elevator. No problem, I’ve got this I thought.

And then, the elevator doors opened.

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Mindful Distraction for Staying Present

Last week, as I graded a Paper from one of the students that I teach in my University course, I was reminded of a technique that is available for us to use during times of change, anxiety or stress.

It can be so easy to focus on the thing that is creating the anxiety. Whether it is an upcoming presentation we have to give, performing in a pressured situation or feeling overwhelmed in general, how do we catch our breath and slowdown in order to stay in the present?

The following skill, called the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, will help you focus yourself in the present in order for you to get through tough or stressful situations while creating a feeling of managing the situation.

It is a way of creating ‘Mindful Distraction.’

This technique is a calming skill that takes you through your five senses in order to remind you of staying in the present. The goal is to use your senses to focus on the moment and avoid the overthinking that can get in the way of what matters to you.

To begin, first take a slow, deep focused breath.

Next, look for:

5 THINGS that you can see (can be something in your office- like the desk lamp, a water cup, your feet; or something outside the window- such as kids playing, the tree branches in the wind, etc.)

4 THINGS you can touch- things you can physically feel- your own arm, the back of your chair, your dog (or cat!)

3 THINGS you can hear- it could be the a/c blowing through the vent, voices in the background from the TV, cars outside

2 THINGS you can smell- sometimes it is a cup of coffee, hand lotion on the desk, the smell of your dog

1 THING you can taste- it may be a sip of water, coffee, an energy drink, leftovers from your lunch

Now, take another slow, deep focused breath.

Focusing on your senses will help you be more mindful and will take you out of the pressure and overload that you are feeling while putting you back in the present.

Apply this simple technique and enjoy the ability to slow down and redirect your focus!

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Persistence, Perseverance & the Pandemic

If there EVER was a time that the principles of Persistence and Perseverance were needed, it is during the current Pandemic. Regardless of your personal thoughts on what in the world is actually going on, we are all in this together.

I have heard what we are going through called ‘the New Normal,’ ‘the Now Normal’ and the ‘Will we ever be Normal?’

So many that I talk to in my coaching practice feel stuck and describe being ‘on hold,’ waiting for things to return to how it was. Yet, while many are watching and waiting, others are taking charge of their lives, businesses and creativity.

I wonder if this sounds like you?

Maybe you find yourself saying, “If only I was back at my office” or “If only the kids were back on campus” or even “If only I didn’t feel as though my life is dependent on things out of my control.”

So, we sit and wait.

And wait.

And wait some more.

Waiting for the right time, for more strength or to feel fully motivated to move forward with our dreams and goals.

It has been said that the difference between a truly successful (and productive) person and others is not a lack of strength, nor a lack of knowledge, but, rather, a lack of will.

I wonder, do you persevere when times get challenging?

Perseverance and persistence involve making a commitment to your dream or goal, not on a one-time basis, but daily, hourly and continually. It does not wait until everything is right, or ‘normal’ or back on track. It takes charge of whatever is under your control at the moment.

Right now. Not later.

“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence… Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.” – Calvin Coolidge

I have learned, in my 40 years of coaching successful business persons, performers and high achievers, that there are 3 main obstacles to perseverance when times are challenging:

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The Fearless Speaker Group Coaching Program

Are you tired of getting anxious every time you need to make a presentation? Do you wonder if you will ever get over stage fright? Do you avoid opportunities to speak that might create business opportunities or that could lead to career advancement? Is this you?

Do you hesitate to present a webinar or virtual meeting or workshop? Does it feel like it’s time to overcome the stress and fear that you feel as a presenter? If so, then the Fearless Speaker Group Coaching Program is for you. The KEY Question I have is,

“What would your career, business and life look like if you were not afraid of public speaking?”

I am excited to announce my next online Group Coaching Program, The Fearless Speaker, is now open for registration. Click Here to learn more about this powerful opportunity.

We’ll meet for 7 weeks and will have weekly Zoom calls and lessons, personal coaching from myself on each call, group support, and lots of learning. You’ll learn – and I mean, really learn:

~ The Mindset Necessary to Overcome Your Fear ~ The Stress Model of Stage Fright ~ The Key Factors to Change Your Anxious Thoughts ~ The Incredible POWER of Mental Rehearsal ~ Using Focused Breathing to Stay Present as a Speaker ~ A Powerful Tool to Relax Your Body ~ To Center Yourself in only Minutes Prior to Speaking

Since this will be the last Group I will be offering in 2020, and will include a 1-1 personal coaching session with me, I wanted to make sure that you do not miss the opportunity to be coached directly by me in a small group setting.

As a result of technology, and so crucial in this challenging time we are going through, you will be able to take part in this 7-week Program completely online from your home, business or from anywhere in the world!

If you, or anyone that you know, would benefit from overcoming their speaking anxiety, please do not hesitate to click the Image above or Click Here to learn more about this powerful opportunity.

If you have ANY questions regarding the Program and to see if is a good fit for you, contact me directly at nick@drnicklazaris.com and I will get back to you to answer any concerns that you might have.

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Is it Time to Take Your Life Back?

Does it ever feel as though you are giving away little pieces of your life?

Maybe, without even realizing it, you have let fear, convenience, or a focus on another person’s opinion chip away, little by little, your self-confidence and belief in what you are capable of.

At first, maybe you simply said “Yes” to a request that, deep down, you knew wasn’t what you wanted, yet you rationalized to yourself, “Oh, it’s not that big of a deal.”

Or, when you came up with a great idea to push your business or life forward, you ended up anxiously listening to your inner voice that quietly said, “This really isn’t a good time, maybe I will try in the future.”

What about that time when you said “No” to an opportunity that was outside of your comfort zone, yet deep down you KNEW it would have benefited you?

Putting yourself, your ideas or your desires in front of the crowd can feel so scary, yet it is always during such times that opportunities can lead to the successes that can propel you to greater things.

Whether the opportunity is to create a webinar for your online audience that will introduce them to an amazing service or product that you offer, or assertively say “No” to something, or someone, that you know is not best for you, or create that book or piece of art that has been yearning to come out, becoming aware of and then changing your fear-based decisions, is crucial.

A piece of wood, when slowly chipped and whittled away, becomes weak and eventually breaks. It is no different in your own life when, over time, you give away pieces of who you are and what you desire.

Have you allowed that negative inner voice to trick you into not taking the risks and chances that have the potential to move you forward?

Are you dangerously close to ‘breaking’ and giving up your dreams and goals?

Today, I encourage you to consider in what areas of your business, creativie life or relationships that you may be giving yourself away.

Do not allow another day to go by without intentionally deciding to stop giving power away. Little by little, decision by decision, you will become stronger, more confident and, most importantly, in charge of yourself.

It is time to take your life back.

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Celebrate Summer with 30% off all Books and Courses!

To help celebrate the beginning of Summer, and to provide opportunities for you to learn and take your business and life forward during the challenging time we are going through, I am offering a one time discount on all of my most popular books and home-study courses.

For the next 7 days, all of my Courses and Books will be available for you to overcome your anxiety and fears at a 30% discount from the regular price.

Whether your challenge is stage fright (performance anxiety on stage or in a virtual presentation setting), a fear of asserting yourself in business or social situations or a general experience of anxiety in your life, I know that the following offerings will be of immense value to you!

Click Here to Learn More!