During this time of stress, anxiety and change, tension blocks our ability to stay present and be effective in our everyday tasks, relationships and performance. Much of this tension accumulates in our shoulders, neck and upper body.

The following simple exercises, from my book Stress, Resiliency and Taking Charge of Your Life, are designed to be able to help you release tension quickly and efficiently.

Tension blocks your power to perform. Much of this tension accumulates in your shoulders, neck and upper body. The following simple exercises are designed to be able to help you release tension quickly and efficiently.

A theme that continually comes up in my coaching sessions with those who desire to move forward in their life, whether in dealing with a stressful performance situation, or in life experiences in general, is the hesitation to go after what they truly desire.

It is the difference between passively allowing fear and anticipation to guide your decision-making rather than having an active orientation to life.

In your art, in a performance situation or in significant relationships, are you a person who goes after what they want?

Do you say to the world, “This is what I want. I’m going to go for it.”

Children, before they ‘learn’ to be afraid or avoid anxiety-producing situations, will bounce back whenever they hit a wall or roadblock because that is what little kids do – until we teach them not to do it, until we knock that fearless perseverance out of them.

They just go for it.

There are few phrases that I hear in my practice as a Performance Coach that are as deadly as, “That’s just the way I am.”

Deadly as in creating a wall, or roadblock, to achieving the goals that are the most meaningful to you. It is a phrase that so many of my clients have tolerated in their life and which, if not challenged and overcome, becomes a belief as true in their thinking as the sun will surely go down tonight. If I have always believed it, then it must be true about myself.

Those who have experienced my style of coaching understand that when I hear such a phrase, I immediately challenge it – as those words cannot be allowed to linger for a moment in your thinking without more damage being caused.

This damage can be in the form of holding back when given an opportunity to move forward in your career (“Well, I would love to be considered for a promotion, yet if it involves giving more presentations, then I will have to decline because…That’s just the way I am, I cannot speak in front of an audience without anxiety”).

“I would love to start my own business, or create a new piece of unique art, or start the book I have always dreamed about but unfortunately I cannot, as I have never felt much confidence in my abilities, because that’s just the way I am.”

Do you avoid or say no or disregard an opportunity to take risks because you have always believed that you are not enough, that it is just the way that you are?