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New Online Home Study Course Available!

I am excited to share that I have opened up my new online home study course, The Fearless Speaker Mastery Program. The Program is a powerful and highly effective training course, including Video, Audio and PDF Material, for those who desire to overcome their fear of public speaking and can be taken in the comfort of your home or office.

During this Program, I provide the understanding and skills necessary to rid yourself of your speaking fears forever. If you, or anyone you know, struggles with getting in front of an audience, giving a business presentation, a formal speech or needs to promote their services, click on the image above to learn more about this powerful Program.

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Anxiety and the Story of You

 

In so many of my coaching sessions, the issue of clients knowing what they want always goes hand in hand with knowing who they are. This is especially true for those who struggle with fear and anxiety which holds them back from the life that they dream of.

Although you might be thinking, “Of course I know who I am!” the reality is that most people have created a ‘story’ about themselves, an ongoing ‘screenplay’ about who they are and what they are capable of.

For those who struggle with anxiety, the story is almost one of living in a world that is safe and free from risk-taking. In fact, it is impossible to achieve your absolute best in any area of your life unless you possess an effective and powerful answer to both questions of want you want and knowing who you are .


What could possibly stand in your way?

Look in the mirror and you will see your biggest enemy staring right back at you, telling you the story about why life is so dangerous, or how it seems like you have always failed, or how you are just not enough to become more successful.

The story you tell yourself often implies that maybe you don’t have what it takes to achieve your dreams.

On and on the story goes. A story many years in the making!

I can hear it now,

“Ladies and gentleman, here is the Story of a person who desired to become successful, who yearned and dreamed of accomplishing amazing things! Yet, a sad Story of never having enough money, or ideas or opportunities, of someone raised by critical parents and who lacked the confidence to overcome obstacles and who is trapped by fear after fear.”

Does this sound at all like your Story?

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Creativity in the Midst of Chaos

As I have spent the past couple of weeks admiring the amazing works of art of so many greats from Italy, France and Spain, I thought I would re-share a post I wrote years ago regarding a particular time in history of prolific creating. I hope that you enjoy it!

 

“You were put on this earth to achieve your greatest self,
to live out your purpose, and to do it fearlessly”
~ Steve Maraboli, Author

Recession … unemployment … climate change … general economic collapse … rapid population growth … polluted water … environmental disasters … instability, and anxiety … decline in the influence of the church.

Why, you wonder, am I trying to depress you with the current state of the world today? How can this possibly help me become bold in my life? I thought this blog was supposed to be a forward looking, positive guide to gaining freedom from fear.

The scenario that I describe above is, however, not an accounting of the world today, but, rather, a precise look at what was occurring in 13th century Europe!

What is remarkable is that it was during this time of chaos and dramatic change that one of the most amazing periods of achievement, creativity and cultural change in the history of the world occurred. The conditions I have described existed just prior to the period in history that we call the Renaissance.

It was during this period of instability that the first outrageous achievers of the Italian Renaissance lived. Rather than succumb to those who felt defeated and whose only goal in life was to just get through it all (to survive), these outrageous artists decided to be bold and fearless in the face of overwhelming odds.

Adventurous and risk-taking, artists such as da Vinci, Michelangelo, Giotto and Raphael set out with a daring spirit to create works of art that have never been equaled.

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Cut the Rope, Get Present and Start Living! (Encore Post)

As I write these words, I struggle to stay present. My mind wants to remind me of everything I have coming up, things that I should be thinking about, planning, and worrying over.

Live on Purposr Photo

Yet, as I focus on the future it interferes with right now, with this very moment. In fact, I realize that thinking about the future while living in the present is not even possible.

I cannot live in two places at the same time!

The future distracts me, it leads me down a path where there is precious little under my control. While living in the future, I hear words such as “What if…  I should…  I need to.” There is very little positive or productive thinking in these words. The future is out of my control.

However, when I am in the present, really in the moment, things get done. Articles get written, art is created, goals are met, creative business ideas are achieved, and real life is experienced.

In the present, I am committed to my true, authentic self. In the future I connect with my fearful self, the one who anticipates, who becomes cautious and who ultimately lives in fear.

There are other times, however, when I let myself live in the past. I remember what I should have done, the choices that might have been better, the creative things I could have gone for. I begin to move from presence to the past, from this very moment that is under my control, to looking back on how I might have lived differently.

Even though I cannot in any way change or control my past, I allow myself to feel guilt and shame. I have plenty of material to feel regret, so instead of gaining wisdom from my past and becoming stronger as a result in the moment, I beat myself up, as if there was something I could do about it today.

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Creating a Positive Focus for Success – 5 Essential Questions

As I look back on the clients that I have coached over the past years, I often wonder what the core characteristics are of those who have achieved success in their personal and professional life. There seems to be a common mindset and approach to life that is foundational to their achievement of the things that matter to them.

Let’s take a look at 5 essential questions to ask yourself in order to create the type of focus needed for achieving what you desire in life.

1) “Do I have a laser-focused desire to succeed?”

This question has to do with having the passion and desire that is necessary to succeed: Do you have a passion to:

~ Develop more self-confidence?
~ Become a better public speaker?
~ Identify and overcome any fears that hold you back?
~ Develop a new product or service in your business?
~ Build better personal relationships?
~ Write an article or book?

What would it take to create this kind of laser-focus in order to achieve your dreams? Seeking out a course or a Coach/Mentor can become an important part of achieving the type of passion I am describing. Take charge by seeking out guidance.

2) “Do I expect excellence out of myself?”

~ Do you expect GREAT things in your business and personal life?

~ Do you act like the person that you want to be?

~ Does your commitment to excellence show itself in ALL aspects of your life (health, spiritual, business, family)?”

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The Anxiety-Prone Personality

 

If you struggle with anxiety, or find dealing with pressure or stress challenging, then you likely possess most, if not all, of the following personality traits. Awareness of the areas in yourself that contribute to experiencing a life of anxiety is the first step to overcoming such a challenge. Do any of the following personality characteristics sound like you?

  • You Ignore the Stress Signals Your Body is Sending

Are you someone who doesn’t listen to their body, who pushes themselves without listening for those early warning signals of stress? Do you say to yourself, “Well, I can do one more thing … Even though it’s late and I’m tired, I’ll check just a few more emails tonight … I can’t stand seeing those dishes sitting there, I better clean those.” It’s time to start listening to the stress signals that your body is sending you.

  • You Live by Many Rules and ‘Shoulds’

Do you have a lot of rules and ‘shoulds’ in your thinking? Perhaps you came from a family in which there were a lot of rules and now you find yourself saying, “Oh, I should have done that better”… “I shouldn’t have laid down and taken that nap” … “I should do some work on Saturday morning even though I’m wiped out.” It’s time to stop beating yourself up with the ‘shoulds.’

  • Control Is VERY Important to You

Do you have a need to be in control and for things to be in their place? It’s time to ‘let go’ and take charge of yourself, not the things, or people, around you.

  • You are Competent and Have High Expectations of Self

You are probably known as a very competent, dependable and loyal person. You most likely have high, and probably unrealistic, expectations of yourself. It is when you fall short of those high expectations that you feel guilty, discouraged and end up feeling like a failure, a sort of daily reminder that you’re not good enough. It’s time to give yourself permission to not be perfect and to believe you are enough no matter what you accomplish.

  • You Love Calmness

One of the genetic per-dispositions of severe anxiety is a heightened physical sensitivity to stimuli. As an infant you were more than likely highly sensitive to noise, lights, temperature and all types of stimuli and now, as an adult, it is very important to you for things to be calm. It’s time to create less stress in your life and be ok with not liking large crowds, pressure or feeling like you should be more of an extrovert.

  • Your Motto is: “I can handle it”

Do you have an “I can handle it” attitude? You may rarely ask for help or delegate things to others. You try to do everything yourself. Instead of saying “No, I can’t do that,” you say “Sure I can do it.” It’s time to ask for help and not try to do everything yourself.

  • You Have ‘Black and White’ Thinking

Do you see things as total, all or nothing, black or white? Have you developed a way of thinking that has you living a life with very little emotional freedom? Do you allow yourself to take risks, to be spontaneous and take chances? Black and white thinking is ‘safe’ and obliterates creativity and uniqueness. It’s time to color outside of the lines, to break out of the emotional prison of safety that comes with black and white thinking.

  • You Have a Great Fear Rejection

A greater than normal fear of rejection is a bottom-line issue for those who struggle with anxiety, causing you to not take risks or assert yourself. When you are stressed out, your feelings get stuffed inside, and you become afraid of how you might look to others. It’s time to build a foundation of self-worth where you stop caring so much of what others think, and take more chances in your personal and creative life.

 

The good news is that even though you may have developed many of the above characteristics and ways of thinking, you are not stuck with these! You CAN change. Seek out the resources and guidance necessary to take charge of each of these 8 areas. Quiet the voice within in you that says, “Well, that’s just the way I am” and become intentionally driven to break out of your personal emotional prison.

 

For a No-Charge consultation with Dr. Lazaris to discover how Anxiety Coaching can help you become free of your personal fears, click here to get more information.

Also, you might want to learn more about overcoming anxiety by checking out Dr. Lazaris’ book, From Panic to Peace. Click Here to learn more.

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Are You a Risk-Taking, Outrageous Creative?

“If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.“

~ Jim Rohn

Throughout my 40 years of working with entrepreneurs, artists, musicians, writers, executives and performance artists, I have never had anyone tell me,

“Please help me to become a mediocre performer.”

“I’ve noticed that I am becoming WAY too creative in my art, I need to slow it down a bit.”

“Can you teach me some ways to stay anxious as a writer?”

“You know Dr. Nick, my business is going too well. Can you help me become a little less effective with the clients that I work with?”

Not once has anyone asked to be helped to stay on the path to mediocrity. Yet, so often our creative lives are defined in terms of safety, lack of risk-taking and just “getting through” comfortably.

An outrageous and creative life doesn’t settle. It doesn’t put up with things being just ‘okay’.

“Change and growth takes place when a person has
risked themselves and dares to experiment with their own life.”
~ Philosopher Herbert Otto

Outrageous living is not comfortable. It is not ‘safe’. It does not look around to see if others are approving or if they are pleased by our behavior. An outrageously creative life is extraordinary, unconventional and bold.

At times, our ideas for our work will seem unthinkable and will exceed the limits of what others see as usual and ‘normal’ behavior. Outrageous means we are exceeding the bounds of what may seem reasonable or expected by those living a life of safety or of pleasing others.

Outrageous creativity is BOLD – we are not afraid to stand out. We are fearless, self-assured and confident.

“If things seem under control, you are just not going fast enough.” — Mario Andretti

Outrageous creativity contains a daring spirit, is adventurous and ultimately is free. A person committed to outrageous living makes bold choices, thinks big, refuses to be confined out of fear and is free of judgment and a myriad of ‘the shoulds’.

Helen Keller described just this kind of outrageous living when she said,

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change
and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeated.”

Are you beginning to see the picture of what outrageous creativity looks like? I believe that, in fact, it is the picture of what you looked like as a creative child before you began to be afraid, before you gave up a life of outrageous risk-taking in order to please those around you and gain their approval. It has been said that,

“People do not know how to be outrageous anymore.”

While vacationing at the beach several years ago, I noticed a little girl, no more than 3 years old, standing near the water line on the beach. She stood there watching the water come in and then, as it headed back out, she would let out a bloodcurdling scream and run towards the retreating water. As soon as her feet hit the cold water as it came back towards her, she would let out another scream and run back towards the sand. Yet, accompanying her scream was a HUGE smile on her face! She was bold and going for it – even while it was scaring her to death! Up and down, over and over she would run to the water, scream and run away laughing hysterically every single time!

No one had yet taught her to play it safe, to not take a chance, to sit and watch the other kids have fun. She was determined to live outrageously – bold and willing to risk it all.

When was it that you stopped running towards the creative thing that scared you? When did you give up going for what seemed impossible? Where did your boldness go?

Outrageous creativity includes bloodcurdling screams while going for your dreams with a huge smile on your face.

If your fear of public speaking has held you back in achieving the things that matter to you, then you might be interested in learning about my new online, home study course, The Fearless Speaker Mastery Program. Also, my book, The Fearless Business Speaker is now available.